Thank you, Bill.

Old flames.
They are really undervalued when it comes to the lessons they teach us later in life.

I got a call today.
The oddly familiar voice sent my mind shuffling for names and faces in an effort to make an identification. Thirty seconds or so passed and then it came to me.

It was Bill.

We had a tumultuous relationship in our early twenties. Ours was a union filled with lots of lies, lust, secrets and sex...good sex. The kind that you read about in trashy chick lit novels, or fantasize about while driving the mini-van to carpool on a Monday afternoon.
It was a lousy love affair that never had the makings for a marriage.....

Once I made the connection with his voice I had two pressing questions.
1.)Why was he calling me for the first time in six years?
2.)What did he want?

I considered hanging up on him....after all, I am a happily married woman now. He was never good with words, immature to a fault, and was a pretty lousy boyfriend that put me through three years of hell.
After two or three minutes I realized that the conversation was going nowhere. We spoke about our families, where we lived now....etc. I didn't mention my mother's recent death. I just couldn't "go there" today.

I finally asked "Bill, why are you calling me?"

His response:
"I heard about your mother and I wanted to call and tell you how very sorry I am."

I was stunned and sat there, speechless, for several seconds.

He continued. "She was a special person. Someone I never forgot." "I really loved your mom and was so saddened to hear that she had passed. I had to call and let you know that I was thinking of all of you and hope you are well."

Could this be? The loser boyfriend from my twenties who never had any inclination towards good social graces? Calling me with condolences? Sounding so mature,and intelligent?

I was impressed with his sincerity and touched by his words.
I wept.
As we reminisced for several minutes, he enabled me to remember my mother of fifteen years ago....,, the one that was alive, funny and full of zest. That is the woman he was thinking of and speaking about..... not the sick, weak, and needy mom that my husband knew to be his mother-in-law.
Many emotions fled through me as I thanked him for his kind words and for sharing his memories. I was saddened for the mother-in-law my husband never knew. I was thrilled for the impact my mother left on someone she probably barely remembered.

Mostly though...I was thankful for the call. It came at just the right time.



Thank You, Bill.