Guiltless Vacations.....

The mommy wars raged on this week.
I found myself engaged in a conversation that had me half heartedly defending my choice to leave my children for a much needed vacation.

We don't do this very often, once or twice in a year to be exact.
The majority of my friends in my immediate sphere know the value of much needed time away from the kids. There is, however, another group of mothers who frown greatly on such luxury. I know one or two of these mothers personally...and trust me, they are not at all shy about voicing their opinions to me.

As I planned for this four day trip I heard it all.....the same things I hear each and every time they know a mother is about to get on a plane or in a car and capture some alone time or couple time.

"Why did you have kids if you aren't gonna raise them?"
"How could you leave your kids for so long?"
"Aren't you worried?"
"How can you sleep without them in your house?"
"I got that out of my system before I chose to have children."

And the passive aggressive comment is always the best:

"I am so happy for you, but I could never do it. I would worry about them too much."

Gee, thanks.

When I first had kids I fed into this myth that I was a bad mommy if I ever needed or wanted a break from them. I truly believed that vomit soaked spit rags and constant mothering to the point of exhaustion made me "better" than the rest. It was a life I signed up for...so I figured I really couldn't opt for a break.
It is the mommy martyr syndrome at play. The idea that we must be "on" 24/7 to do our job well. Pretty crazy if you stop and think about it. Common sense tells us no one can do their job every second of every waking hour and continually be effective. Not-a-one.

Over the years I have come to see the light. Not only do I know that I need time away from my children, I also know that THEY need time away from me. They thrive when they get a break from the same mundane routine. We all get into ruts.
My trusted child care provider loves them, cares for them and engages them in new fun ways, that they look forward to and enjoy.
It is a win/win situation.
My husband and I rekindle our own relationship with time away, and enjoy "babying" each other for a change. It reminds us of why we got married to one another.
I realize again why I love this man. Why I chose him as my partner.
And we all know that the greatest gift you can give to your children is the gift of a healthy relationship with your spouse.

Four days will go quickly.
The second I step in my house...my job takes over as though it never stopped and I will be rested and ready to tackle it all with open arms.
As I sit in this quiet room, coffee in hand, the sun shining down on me. I feel calm, relaxed for the first time in a year.
No fights, no spills, no poopy tushies, no rushing. Just calmness.

Aaaahhhhh. I am reformed.