Just who is running the show?

Anyone parenting in this day in age can't help but notice that the standards for acceptable parenting differ greatly from those that are parents followed. As my kids get older I notice many things that are very different from my own childhood. Some good, some...not so good.

Kids don't respect adults.
I include my own kids in this statement. Talking back in any way to an adult was completely inappropriate and rarely if ever tolerated. If you talked back or called an adult by their first name it was grounds for punishment in our house...and I am not talking about a "Time Out".
We feared adults. The lines were clear. They were in charge. We were not. End of story. Kids nowadays look at adults like bigger versions of their peers. We stand taller...that's about it.

Kids don't fear their parents.
Sure, they don't want to get yelled at, or disappoint. But they aren't scared like we were scared. The stakes aren't near as high in my home as they were in my parents home. There are no spankings, and grounding a kid doesn't have near the impact it did twenty years ago. Now that every teen has a phone in his or her pocket he can pretty much stay connected at all times. Our preferred method of taking a toy away worked for awhile...just like Time Outs. They all work for a little while...but nothing scares them like I was scared. When I had my kids I vowed that they would never be scared of me-like I was scared of my mom and dad.


A kid's word is valued more than an adult's word.
This is a big one. Since when did young kids tell adults how it is in the world? I clearly recall that in the "olden days" if another parent called your parent to discuss a behavior or a comment made by your child....you had to answer to it. Honestly, I cannot imagine my mom saying "My kid would never say that...you are wrong" to another mother! She might believe me...but we always had "the talk" and made it right if another parent called our home.

We now live in age where adult teachers fear the kids. They worry when they go to work at suburban schools that they might be shot, targeted on the internet for death plots, struck at or verbally blasted on some site for all the world to read. Kids seem to now have more control that adults in high schools these days. How did that happen?? Not too long ago you worried if a teacher called your mom. You were scared to be sent to the principal's office. Adults were in control and led the younger generation on the right path.



So, as I sit here and ponder what all of this means for the future of my own kids I admit that I am stumped. We live in a different world today. A world where it is more acceptable to call adults by their first names. A world where expensive techo gadgets are for adults AND kids. A world where a hand on the tushie for talking back, calling names or misbehaving is grounds for the Child Protective Services to be called. A world where kids are empowered to make the rules more than ever.

I struggle to set the ground rules with my own kids. Sometimes I hit it the mark, sometimes I miss. But this I know for sure....Parenting is hard. Kids are challenging. And the world today is making it harder and harder to teach our kids to respect adults, to follow the rules, and accept consequences for actions. I can only wonder what these means for generations to come.

Maybe my parents weren't so crazy after all.